Are Black women and Asian men being sidelined?

Posted by Ria, 29 Oct

I'm always blogging about how White guys are getting the hot Asian women… but let's not forget Black guys dating White women.

One thing that made me sit and think for a moment is… "Are there fewer white men that are willing to date black women… and even fewer white women willing to date Asian men?" It’s like Black women and Asian men are being left on the sideline when it comes to the interracial dating game. So why is this?

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When it comes to online dating, Black women and Asian women seem to be disadvantaged. Men of all races usually claim to be open to dating men of all races but they seem to have reservations when it comes to Black women. Similarly, women who claim that they just want to find a nice, kind, respectful man, who say physical preference is not a deal-breaker seem to pump their brakes at Asian men.

Whether we like it or not, this is evident online and also with other match-making services. The profiles of Asian men and Black women rank lowest when it comes to the numbers of other singles showing interest in them. They seem to get fewer messages as well as fewer matches. Matchmaking services also say that these two groups are the hardest to find matches for.

There is the emasculation of Asian men by the media for years that seems to have translated to a self-fulfilling prophecy that ended up giving birth to an actual non-attraction to Asian men in real life.

As for black women, the media portrays them as sassy, strong women who emasculate men. Society makes them appear to be more masculine than women of other races making people assume that they are effeminate, hence physically less attractive.

Asian men and black women are having a harder time dating because of the societal constructed beauty standards and stereotypes. On the other hand, Asian women and Black men are doing so much better with Asian women being idealized as being more sexual and more feminine and Black men as more masculine and well endowed.

Then there is also a different spin to all this... maybe Black women and Asian men probably aren’t interested in dating outside of their own race...

The other thing about Asian men and Black women is that this particular interracial combo is also rare. Black woman-Asian man couples are sometimes even ridiculed as poor matches by whites, blacks, and Asians alike. Is this combo freakish as some people who have never seen such a couple put it?

I believe when people finally get over their rigidity and put a human face to black woman-Asian man relationships eventually they will respect this combo as much as most Americans accept and even laud some other types of interracial unions.

Well, I think this would be one viable option to consider in interracial dating… Seeing as Black women and Asian men are the least likely groups to be matched online, maybe they should consider dating each other more. That way we will see a rise in Asian Men Black Women couples and then maybe, we will stop gawking when we see them. What do you make of it?

476 responses to "Are Black women and Asian men being sidelined?"

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  1.   nikkita389 says:
    Posted: 06 Dec 23

    I can’t speak for Asian men. But as a Black woman aged 60+ I am frustrated by the views expressed by a large number of the white men that I have met on this site. These men seem to be looking for a stereotyped view of a Black woman who will beat them up (dominatrix??). They try to hide their opinion using phrases like “strong Black woman” but when you probe into what they really mean, it’s about some kind of fantasy. Seriously?? Now I’m not saying that all white men are like that. Just the few that I’ve met on this site. For this reason, I post a statement inviting men with such views to move on to the next profile. Perhaps I need a dating coach. Or maybe many older white men buy into a stereotype view of Black women. I’m sure I will seem like an angry Black woman. Because I am angry at being stereotyped. There! I’ve said it.

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  2.   Buion. says:
    Posted: 11 Nov 21

    Online dating apps doesn't prove anything, especially when those same studies were deleted. Black women aren't "struggling" in the dating scene and I can literally go outside right now and see Black women having no issues getting a man at all.

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  3.   Buion. says:
    Posted: 11 Nov 21

    Black women aren't having "issues" dating and I can literally go outside right now and see Black women with boyfriends and husbands everywhere I go and they have children (numerous ones at that) so stop perpetuating nonsensical stereotypes that obviously aren't true and the fact that you sited online dating apps as a source is what makes you lose all credibility instantly because Nobody's struggling dating in real life.

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    • Ijeybeka says:
      Posted: 13 Nov 21

      You sound bitter!!!... and secondly... its a fact that is stated here.. i believe you are speaking from your environment.... So dont use that in your final judgment!!...

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  4. Posted: 09 Nov 21

    Well finding one to date is the problem. A few are genuine to want to date but the majority just wants to have an experience

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  5.   KevinUS says:
    Posted: 09 Nov 21

    Its a bitter reality society doesn't want to address. Asian men in America are socially excluded from relationships both (online and offline) from adolescence, and studies show most don't start dating until later in their adulthood. Studies show white people( especially white American women) have shown to have the highest racial bias of all groups and are the least interested in crossing racial/cultural boundaries. Asians on the other hand is the most open minded of all. These patterns exist for a reason. Whenever many women claim "we are interested in personality more than looks" , I point them to this pattern which clearly proves most of them are just virtue signalling and are shallow. Race is essentially meaningless on a biological level, But racism/discrimination like this exist because there's a vast majority of people who are discriminating people on phenotypic differences seen in population. Even if you argue that having racial preferences isn't racist ( which actually is by definition), you can't defend the fact that you're NOT shallow, because you're auto rejecting an entire group before even individually getting to know their personalities simply because they don't fit your narrow Eurocentric beauty standards. Society should acknowledge these narrow beauty standards are toxic because its not only affecting men, but causing lots of body image and self esteem issues on women too. Another thing which i observed, Asians aren't discriminated to this level outside America, especially in Europe and Eastern Europe based on many people's experiences. I myself did a global study on this varying several variables and changing locations to see which of them posed the greatest impediment, and surprisingly, I found out I was the most desirable in Eastern European countries -- not only the frequency of my matches increased by leaps and bounds but quality of matches increased significantly. I was not only getting matched with slim, model looking women ( which are considered top tier in US) but they even care to text me back too! It felt like entering an alternate reality where things were exactly the opposite.

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  6.   ST09 says:
    Posted: 09 Nov 21

    Black women are not side lined . The group is side lined is are black men

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  7.   Aquanfu says:
    Posted: 08 Nov 21

    After reading this article , I can not speak directly to the experience of Asian men, but I certainly do not think Black women are being side lined. As a matter of fact Black women have been sought after by White men historically. Some times it was for the wrong reasons. What the article fails to address, is the fact that Black men are sidelined. As a result of historical and current perceptions , many Black are more skeptical of Black men even before there is a chance for a relationship to develop. White women are even more skeptical as a result of cultural differences and plain old racism. Asian women have often bought into to the stereo types about Black men based on the values of White society. Even White Latino women are some times not interested in Black men because of the racism perpetuated in their culture

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  8.   Wewetu12 says:
    Posted: 08 Nov 21

    Especially when it comes to Asian people their culture is very strict that's why is very rare to see an Asian woman or man dating a black person

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  9.   Danie1d says:
    Posted: 08 Nov 21

    Well I’m mainly interested in more smaller petite women and have been try to date mainly black ladies but I’m not choosy on what race I have been trying to date for the last six months with no matches as you call it or the ladies look a lot older than I do guess maybe I’m too choosy but I’m a widow of two years and I’m not getting any younger but I still seek the slender side of things sure I have a typical male stomach and I’m sure the ladies are just as choosy as I am so I guess I’ll just keep scanning and avoiding the scammers

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  10.   Nampenn says:
    Posted: 08 Nov 21

    Personally I like Asian men,i have a feeling if he indeed loves you,he will respect you.unlike the white guys they do weird things that I can't explain

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  11.   Lyderi says:
    Posted: 08 Nov 21

    I agree. But mostly it's language barrier that stops Asian men and black women from dating.

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    • Buion. says:
      Posted: 11 Nov 21

      No it's Black women not being attracted to Asian men. That's why the relationship doesn't exist between the two (nor should it).

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  12.   Kokomason says:
    Posted: 08 Nov 21

    I don't think so, it's a matter of time, opportunity, and space. But with this kind of sensitisation, more people will be positivly educated beyond racial prejudice. As for me, I am willing and ready to date any woman from any race, so long as we feel something for each other.

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  13.   bm61 says:
    Posted: 08 Nov 21

    I think Black Women are absolutely wonderful

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  14.   Ijeybeka says:
    Posted: 08 Nov 21

    Nice analysis... i agree that black women and Asian men.. in a way find it hard to bond. Presently Black women African Women are open to races.. i believe this is coming from the Asian Side especially their cultural beliefs e.g South and Central Asian men find it hard to settle down with black women because of their family &Extended*more like their families dont accept black women.. Asian men abroad have a different mentality compared to their counterpart in their home country.. And not that when they marry their own... they make the best marriages... these days divorce cases or on the rise..... in Asia. Well to make it easier... there should be dating sites strictly for black and asian men/women.. that will help alot... But for African women... we are open to all races... its up to the Asian men..

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    • Bluewaters24 says:
      Posted: 09 Nov 21

      Exactly yrue

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    • Bluewaters24 says:
      Posted: 09 Nov 21

      Exactly true

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    • Buion. says:
      Posted: 11 Nov 21

      Yeah Hamite (so-called African women) are open to dating Moabite and Ammonite (so-called Asian) men but Israelite (so-called Negro) women aren't nor should they be either.

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      • Kandy805 says:
        Posted: 09 Jan 22

        What is wrong with you? Are you so unhappy that you have to bring stupidity to others so they “feel bad” ? Go hide under a rock. People are people and we ALL need connections. If you don’t want Black person to be with that’s fine. But your racism is obvious and your self hate is also clear. Have the day you deserve!

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  15.   0neandTw0 says:
    Posted: 08 Nov 21

    Actually, I have been interested in this very point for a long time. By the way I'm a divorced white male without children. What I have noticed and perhaps it's commonly known that white women are much more likely to date black men than black women are to date white men. I live in London [England] where this is the prevailing setup and it seems to transcend the generations as well? What do you think? John.

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  16.   vfsts says:
    Posted: 06 Nov 21

    This article is very “Americanise”. As it shows in the comments from years to now. I’m French and live in the United Kingdom. Even if France does not allow this sort of figure to be published, there are more and more AM and BW coupled. Additionally, when it comes to white men not being attracted by BW. I think they are more intimidated for the most part and from the WM I’ve dated in Europe. Knowing Black men reputation (below the belt) some of them do not want to even try to compete.

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    • 0neandTw0 says:
      Posted: 08 Nov 21

      Interesting observation and I would like to think you are correct but It's not being my first-hand experience in London. Perhaps as an Irishman I caricature the prevailing colonial stereotypes when in fact inside I feel more black than white.

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  17.   TuesdayM says:
    Posted: 14 Sep 20

    They are being sidelined. I agree that BW & AM are not are not polarized as being the standard of beauty. Arguably, for the most part, mixed media (music, TV, movies, literature, press) portray BW as mean, bossy, aggressive, hard, unattractive, surly, ignorant sexualized loud-mouths. As for AM they have been considered undesirable for other reasons, but not limited to, physical appearance, minimal mainstream presence, height, non-sexual, etc. However, as a matter of routine, Asian cultures have ethnocentric class systems and consider (darker people, African cultures) to be at the bottom of the totem pole. Soon they will have no choice but to date/marry (people with stronger melanin) as their male numbers are too many and they will have to search outside their culture - as is already happening in African countries.

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  18.   realisious says:
    Posted: 28 Dec 19

    Amongst my family and friends from eastern Caribbean, Asian and black marriage is common. Everyone grows up together sharing the same language, culture, religion, food and recent history so they have more in common. Sometimes the only real difference is their hair type and skin tone. I find where I live in England the majority of Asian men are from a vastly different religious-cultural back ground and sometimes language from black women. These are barriers to the first date. Even black muslim women with muslim Asian men is rare. My experience on a another generic dating site was the majority of interest I got was from Asian(Indian looking)men looking for casual relations with an older Black women. For me I am put off by anyone who is deep into a religious.culture. because I'm not. I have found Asian and African men are more likely To be entrenched in a religious.culture which involves there family and sometimes community. I conclude that there is mutual attraction but not enough common ground for longterm relationship in uK but there is in the Caribbean.

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    • Buion. says:
      Posted: 11 Nov 21

      The statistics doesn't agree that it's "common" in eastern Caribbean or anywhere in the Caribbean for that matter and being open to interracial relationships isn't a good thing anyway as Israelites aren't supposed to race-mix.

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  19.   Wanted313 says:
    Posted: 15 Jan 18

    I agree but not dating serious relationship

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  20.   4everMisfit says:
    Posted: 31 Aug 17

    I agree. We should start dating each other more.

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    • Buion. says:
      Posted: 11 Nov 21

      No you should date them not other Black women. Keep your self-hatred to yourself. Revelation 21;8 and Jubilee 30:7-22 will be your fate for promoting this abomination.

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  21.   NCW says:
    Posted: 24 Jul 16

    In the island of Jamaica (and yes there are people who's family migrated to the island from China) that marry other Jamaicans who are black..it is not out of the ordinary..Ask any Jamaican...There are two such couples in my family and I have other cousins who have family from Hong Kong...In the US, I have a childhood friend who married his girlfriend who is also Asian.

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    • Hotntot23 says:
      Posted: 18 Oct 20

      Facts

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    • TJW88 says:
      Posted: 07 Jan 22

      Yes this is true as my family is also from Jamaica and there are Chinese and Black Jamaicans together. It appears to be more of a cultural thing when it comes to race just look at the different countries and island how they think differently. Sad why can't we all just get along and forget there stereo types. By the way not all of the stereotypes are true anyway. We're all humans.

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  22. Posted: 17 Apr 16

    My favorite Uncle is Asian.

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  23.   IIMuch says:
    Posted: 16 Apr 16

    I've always had to seek out Asian men as I've never had a guy initiate contact with me. I had some pretty good dating experiences with Asian men, when I was in my 20's. I wish there was a niche site that specialized in bringing these two together.

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  24.   Eam60 says:
    Posted: 09 Jun 14

    When i was in college and med school, i met many Asian men and went on many dates with them...it was enjoyable and relaxed. What I found out is that the Asian men are on the shy side because of their culture and up-bringing...I realized that if you are the aggressor they are more than willing to get to know you and date you.

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  25.   MrRight4u2 says:
    Posted: 30 May 14

    i don't think its intentional, in general BW & AM are just not as glamorized in the media as others

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    • mstoyatravis says:
      Posted: 27 Jun 15

      That's a closed minded stereotype and complete lie

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      • 67Boogie says:
        Posted: 02 Nov 21

        He’s right. It’s not him who’s closed minded, it’s the ones who seem to set the standards for desirability

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        • Buion. says:
          Posted: 11 Nov 21

          Yeah except the article used a false primise as it used online dating apps which isn't a reliable source and the same studies shows that Black men does terrible as well yet the article neglected that. They're just trying to push this agenda so that Black people can mix ourselves out if existence by trying to get Black women now to race-mix by telling them "You're not desired by non-Black men so get out there and make yourself "desirable" to them and race-mix just like Black men." You have to see through the agenda because that's all this is.

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    • Buion. says:
      Posted: 11 Nov 21

      Black women are well represented in media and you constantly see them in the media everyday but Black men and women aren't seen in a good light. That's why I'm against these wicked celebrities because they live up to the stereotypes and in turn make others see Black people in a negative light.

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  26.   NickiLovely says:
    Posted: 26 May 14

    In the island of Jamaica, this is not unusual. I have two cousins married to Jamaicans who are "asian". I have other cousins whose great grandmother is from Hong Kong. If anyone saw the Voice, one of the winners is Jamaican with an "asian" Jamaican father.

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    • sweetcaro says:
      Posted: 03 Oct 15

      You are absolutely correct. I am Jamaican and my mother who is also Jamaican has a Chinese father and a mother of African ancestry. They are all Jamaican.

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  27.   Cory0533 says:
    Posted: 27 Oct 13

    I would love to date an asian man. Korean or Japanese preferably or even Taiwanese. I have had friends who are asian and they've asked me out but I turn them down because they are my friends and I don;t date my friends. But then living here in Hawaii the races mix often. I have seen Asian men and black women several times and it gives me hope that maybe I can date an asian man too.

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    • mstoyatravis says:
      Posted: 27 Jun 15

      Go for it life is to short to live under others approval

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    • Buion. says:
      Posted: 11 Nov 21

      Yeah and they're all African women so it doesn't matter because Black American women aren't interested in Asian men.

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  28.   Nairobi28 says:
    Posted: 25 Jun 12

    I receive many winks and msgs from Asian men north and south east on Match.Com, however, I have no intrest in dating AM. Good luck to those who are attracted to Asians :). Don't give up! Asians are attracted to black women.

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  29. Posted: 11 Jun 12

    Well I myself being a BF do like AM but I cant seem to find any Asian men interested in me or they dont let on that they are interested but I LOVE Asian men. I have dated two and have loved the experience so if anyone out there knows of any Asian men whom love Buxom black women please let me know...

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  30.   shyone78 says:
    Posted: 19 Dec 11

    I've seen some AM/BF relationships and it's always a pleasant surprise. If you go to a certain website and type in AM/BF you'll see quite a bit of Asian men are interested in black women. True as one video blogger said he's under a lot of family pressure. And the older generation is not really going for it. So I think the men lose big time.

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  31.   SAM7167 says:
    Posted: 16 Dec 11

    I would love to date an Asian man, particularly a Korean man, but they all seem to look at white women or stay in their race. I know it has something to do with tradition and misconceptions towards the other races. Anyway, that sucks when you can't date the person that you want, because of your race. It happens to way too often and not only towards Asian men! The only race that I see is the HUMAN RACE: is that so wrong?

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  32.   Essence94 says:
    Posted: 16 Dec 11

    It's not often seen but possible, Asians most often stay within their race. My grandfather was also a Chinese man who married my grandmother who was Haitian. I'm not married so I carry the Chinese last name and people often expect to see a full blooded asian or I would be asked if I'm married to an asian man.

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    • nika23 says:
      Posted: 15 Jun 12

      Oh I've had that problem too, especially with job interviews. They expect an Asian woman and a black woman walks in. It proves how racist this country is because sometimes I have even been turned away from the job I was to be interviewed for and some have tried to give me a lower paying job when they see I'm not Asian.

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  33.   AuroraIN says:
    Posted: 11 Sep 11

    This is a great topic! Some friends and I had this conversation. We were a diverse group of African Americans, a woman from the Caribbean, a European couple, a Korean couple and a European American couple. Other than the Korean couple themselves, I (an African American female) was the only one in the room who had dated an Asian. We came to the conclusion that BF-AM couplings rare because of a few prejudices on the parts of both parties (BF-AM). Asians statistically are the ethnic group least likely to marry outside of their ethnic group in the US (percentage-wsie). It is expected that AFs marry a successful man and that he is Asian, but a WM would be acceptable in a traditional Asian family, though perhaps, not preferred. We have seen in previous comments in other blogs and we have observed in life in the US, African American women are least likely to marry outside their ethnic group. There is much debate if that's because they choose African American males exclusively or if they are rejected by others, but unfortunately, that's our reality and Asian men share that reality. Asian men are in a double bind: they both suffer from some form of racism that portrays them as less masculine and less appealing and may be limited by their own preferences/prejudices about what ethnic group's women provide them the most suitable match for marriage. I believe it is more likely a combination of cultural taboos and a conscious choice that keeps BF-AM couples very rare in the US. To this day, the only married BF-AM couple I know is my cousin and her 2nd-generation Chinese husband. They married over 25 years ago and are still happily wed. I have no problem with dating men of any ethnic group; I choose my matches by what ideologies we hold in common and I sincerely believe if BF-AMs could enjoy each other's company if they would look for their similarities instead of focusing on their differences and perhaps societal perspectives of their relationships and choices for mates.

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    • Reese says:
      Posted: 22 Dec 11

      Asian men maybe. But Asian women are part of the largest ir group with white men making up almost 48% AA women involved in IR couples.

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      • nika23 says:
        Posted: 15 Jun 12

        Yes I agree, 75% of ALL interracial couples are Asian women and white men. The other 25% are interracial pairings of ALL OTHER races and sexes. Asian men like black women are less likely to date out of their race, but like black women, they too have recently begun exploring interracial dating. I have dated a Korean and a Chinese guy and I see it much more often than I did just 5 years ago. I've been a member of several AMBW sites (some dating sites and some supporting AMBW relationships) and it's always good when the whole group gets together to hang out for an event. Whether AMBW get together or date other races I think it's good because waiting around for the opposite sex within our racial group would be a waste of time.

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  34.   Divagal275 says:
    Posted: 27 Apr 11

    I would say the AM-BF couple has been uncommon in the Caribbean island, and Guyana, and Suriname. My grandfather was Chinese + my grandmother Black.

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    • Divagal275 says:
      Posted: 27 Apr 11

      Sorry, I meant not uncommon.

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      • nika23 says:
        Posted: 15 Jun 12

        I agree, my grandfather is also Chinese and my grandmother is black. It was odd for me to see an AWBM couple because I'm much more used to AMBW couples. It's not only in my family, but a common thing in Trinidad and other Caribbean countries like Guyana. The AMBW couple is also becoming popular in Africa with the Chinese men working in Africa now. There aren't enough Chinese women around due to the one child policy anyway, so many of the Chinese men working in Africa are marrying African women. Some are moving back to China with their African wives and some may stay in Africa. A few years ago there was the first African newsanchor (female) on a Chinese channel (I believe CCTV). It was really cool to see, especially since since she had her hair in braids which is so frowned upon in the US as being unprofressional and sometimes ghetto.

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        • Peachez916 says:
          Posted: 07 Jul 12

          @nika23 and Divagal275 I love both comments..and to continue the flow I am in aggreement with you both, in that due to the fact of migration of asian males, not limited to Chinese there has been a lot of interracial interaction between the two. But it stems further back in our history (American) that is, Originally, the Chinese came to this country to work on the Railroads...cheap labor and they made enough money to survive and to send money home to their families, (fathers and mothers and siblings)..Now becasue there weren't that many Chinese females, depending on where they were working. Chinese men starting interacting with black women and took them as wives. I myself have some asian ancestory by marriage....great aunt married to a Japanese male, my uncle Tinaki...who I adore. At present, they are living in Vegas, originally they met and worked with each other while living in Chicago...according to him it was love at first sight...awesome! They relocated due to his developing major respiratory problems asthma - needed a drier climate..and Vegas was it for them...btw they both are investment brokers...Now what I want to relate is that here in the US the coupling of AM/BW is not so unique as you think...While in the past, they were considered the bottom of the relationship totum pole (socially) attitudes have definitely changed. So much so that these relationships have blossomed tremendiously. In fact, there are several sites that are dedicated to the relationships of AM&BM one being; (BlackWomenAsianMenUnited). It was created by a young man who has gathered together more than 6 to 8 thousand members...and those numbers are climbing...When you get the time check it out...It's not a dating site per say, but AM & BW connect on all levels there. Socially they get together for meetups and support, there are so many variety of men from every asian ethnic background, Maylasian, Chinese, Japanese, Filipino, Korean, Somoan, Vietnamese, Tangalese, etc. Although any and everyone is welcomed to join is definitely is a place were BW and AM connect. Members consists of a few Authors, Bankers, Students pursuing their PhD's, Stock Brokers, Physicians, Teachers, etc, people from every walk of life..and it's not limited to one area...it all over the United States...so if you're interested please go to the site and check it out for yourself I'm more than sure you won't be disappointed ok! Also, Crunchyroll boast photos of Many AMBW couples, They also blown up on Youtube and there a Facebook page as well...BWAW. Here's the link for Crunchyroll photos of AMBW..just to give you an idea of how popular these relationships are. http://www.crunchyroll.com/user/merlose/photos?album_id=6112407 Also, most recently there is a new site in that its only been up for about a year and a half, most recent one; called BlackandYellow.com...you guys will definitely love it there...these are just a few to let everyone know that this is the time for AMBW, as well as all interracial relationships to grow...Hmmmm...do you think it has anything to do with our President...I'm just saying...since he's been in the white house...interracial realtionships have been in the forefront so much more than in the past, wouldn't you agree? It's my opinion that this phenom it definitely trending upward..."smoochez"

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        • NCW says:
          Posted: 24 Jul 16

          Divagal275- You are right. It is also common in the Caribbean. Being Jamaican, I can vouch for Jamaica as well... Ask any Jamaican..it is not out of the ordinary

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  35. Posted: 15 Apr 11

    Hmmm...not really attracted to Asian men.

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  36.   mazc says:
    Posted: 18 Mar 11

    People can date or chose to be with who ever they want. A real person knows what they want and what they like and wouldn't care for anyone's disapproval. I determine my happiness.

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  37.   EarthAngel3 says:
    Posted: 15 Mar 11

    @KuuroOnna88 u r beautiful, each day recite in the mirror at least 3xdaily "I am beautiful" and your actions will follow to bring to light your beauty for all to see.

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  38.   bsuga4wsuga says:
    Posted: 05 Mar 11

    Prior to giving birth to me my mother an BF was married to an AM (1970's NYC). I tell lots of people and that and they belive that its very rare. Even more so siblings of the AM that my mother married all married out side of their race, 3 with black, 1 indian, the other white. I must say that its common in NYC to see people mixed with Jamaican (sometimes other carribean groups) and Asian.

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  39.   KuroOnna88 says:
    Posted: 22 Feb 11

    I feel that in the end, people have their own decisions to make. To generalize anything about one group of people on anything is shortsighted, especially when it's assumptions based off of past prejudices. I am a Black woman, and I listen to Metal (among other types of music), plan on more piercings, and I'm not model material. In fact, most men would turn their nose up at me, because I am not their ideal woman from first sight. Sure, it hurts. But then I remember all of those failed relationships that were started on physical attraction, and think, that perhaps I'm better off. Because I am that nice person. Because I know what I'm like, and don't have to justify it to satisfy someone else's beliefs. I may be on the 'sidelines' but you can learn a lot from being left out than being included. It's lonely, and sometimes hard to deal with, but I'm learning from all the mistakes that everyone else is making. I'm 22 years old, almost 23, and I've never had a boyfriend before. I find Asian men highly attractive. I get laughed at, ridiculed, called a traitor, all kinds of things. It doesn't bother me like it used to, but it's just what I like. Do I have to be put on some kind of totem pole as to my worth for someone else based on things that I had no control over? I didn't ask to be born Black. None of us asked to be born how we are. We just are....and we're being made to suffer for some stupid sense of pride and ethnic segregation, that was started and perpetrated by people who are long dead. Can someone help me? Can they help me understand just what it is I have to do to be even given a chance? I feel like the rotten piece of fruit that people's eyes skim over, and they never even touch. I would not wish this feeling upon my worst enemy.

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  40.   bluemnm says:
    Posted: 21 Feb 11

    I am a half white/half black woman who has always wanted to date an Asian guy but have been too shy to ever approach one, strictly because of the stereotypes that Asian men don't date brown women! I find them incredibly sexy and exotic. After reading the posts on here, I feel much more confident that maybe, just maybe, I'll date an Asian guy sometime soon and then I can post my own success story!

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    • Eam60 says:
      Posted: 31 Mar 14

      Did you know a lot of so called Asian people are brown and dark brown. My daughter who is of mixed raced grew up with a girl from Cambodia and this girl was so jealous of my daughters' light complexion and curly hair until she did everything she could to get curly hair and light skin.....so brown skin they are.

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  41.   coolgal211 says:
    Posted: 19 Feb 11

    Let me tell you a story. One weekend a couple of my friends went out. What they didn't tell me is that they were going out with some guys. There were two Korean guys and one Dominican guy. First thing we did was go to a Korean restaurant and then a Korean bar. Never been to both in my life but it was interesting. At the bar we were singing karaoke (on the stage). One of the Korean guys were staring at me but I didn't realize he was staring. I thought he was looking at his reflection. So, I really didn't pay him any attention. I thought that he was conceited but that was the first time I ever thought that a Asian man thought that I was attractive. We really had a good time. Ever since then I really wanted to date an Asian guy. I don't think that I am ugly or any thing like that but I would like to experience it one time. I mean I am pursuing two associate degrees and studying to get my certifications in various areas. Also, I am self-employed. So, why am I not a catch to an Asian guy. I would love for a guy to come up to me and ask me out. You don't have to be shy just be confident. You never know if I will say yes but I do want to know one thing is Asian men more loyal because of their culture or is it a stereotype.

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  42.   Afrosiren says:
    Posted: 05 Feb 11

    I find beauty in all cultures. And have been interested in dating Asian men. However, I have yet to find a dating site that had mature Asian men. Any ideas?!

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  43.   Beezy04 says:
    Posted: 31 Jan 11

    Well im new to the site and one of the reasons I joined because I've always been attracked to asian men,but like alot of you've said I didnt ever try to talk one before because of assumptions.But it's nice to see that I'm not the only one who feels this way and hope with the help of this site I'll have my own success story to tell :)

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  44.   Squozen says:
    Posted: 21 Dec 10

    I am a black Latina and I have dated a few Asian men. In fact I absolutely love Asian men. I don't think it's an issue that Asian men don't want to date black women or vice versa. I believe that because of assumptions both think the other has no interest. I've heard more than once "Oh wow, I just didn't think you'd be interested in me because I'm Asian." Asian men are sexy, beautiful and super sweet. And despite some comments above I know that I am sexy, feminine and gentle... Once the stereotypes start breaking down you will see more and more Asian men with black women whether there are a few or lot people should be OK with everyone either way.

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  45.   Aniiko says:
    Posted: 13 Dec 10

    Hi, I have been with many ethnicities... Turkish, Morrocon, Latinos, Caucasions, one black guy, and two Asians (both Korean). Can I be honest... Korean Guy treated me better than any of the others ... He did not profile me, he did not generalize me, he just approached me as a female. On top of that, HE ASKED what my heritage was later.... Its kinda sad, we had to break up, but whats really cool about it, is that i learned that there are men out there, that will let a girl sit back and breath.... I actually was able to let go of the steering wheel. Complete faith in someone is a cool thing. Try it! Anyhow, I will date Asians, and with out the beautiful concept of no racial boundaries, I would not exist. So F society and F external pressures. There is a bigger picture people... the human race.

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  46.   ForeLone says:
    Posted: 12 Dec 10

    I am a Chinese man living in NY,NY -- USA, and have a family with a beautiful black women with locks. That's right, locks and not straight hair. First and foremost, I did not read all the entries... I got half way down and was tired. I just want to tell my story and say my two cents. Before I met my wife, I didn't really think much about BFs, heck I didn't even think nor they cross my mind. All I know is that i would like to be happy with my own family. When I was with my parents, I was living in Chinatown. Occasionally I would see Black, White, Hispanic around; either living there or close by or maybe here to get a discount. After I met my wife, whole new look at things and the world. It is like now the world is in color. When people say, I don't see many AM with BW; I answer, because you are not really looking for them. When your mind is opened, then you will see there are many AM/BW couples out there. The AM might not be physically there sometimes, but you can tell if a BW is caring for a Asian looking baby/child with curly hair -- Blasians! In my most honest opinion, to battle ignorance, you must use education. Education is the one true key to freeing ones mind. If one has an open mind, they will see things that they will not usually see. I am speaking of in color and even 3D. Forums like this does help. When people come together and discuss a topic of choose, and others give in put and or write there own experiences, this is what I refer to as education.

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    • NickiLovely says:
      Posted: 26 May 14

      Forelone,thank you for sharing your story. I agree education is the key. In the island of Jamaica where people think the nation is predominately just black people, many would be surprised to learn how mixed the people are. The only true pure "africans" are the Maroons and my dad shared even they are mixing. If you know a Jamaican ask them are there are any Indians, European and/or Asians mixtures in thier family tree, and they would say yes. The mixture is not that far back either, it could thier father, mother, grandmother etc.The motto of the nation is out of many one people. If you ever met a Jamaican, you would find we do not see ourselves as different from any other ethnicity cause that would be hypocritical. We are human and as a result attraction is not limited to one ethnicity and neither is love.

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      • sweetcaro says:
        Posted: 03 Oct 15

        I am one of those Jamaicans with a Chinese grandfather and a grandmother of African and Indian ancestry.

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    • Temper4077 says:
      Posted: 12 Dec 21

      I agree fellow New Yorker

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  47.   Bee1 says:
    Posted: 14 Nov 10

    well i must admit. i took a notice at the fact that asian men usually are not with black women.i should say, it's not something that you run into often. I have hooked up with two so far just to prove my point, it doesn't frickin matter! people place too much emphasis on race. i plan to date another asian, just for the heck of it. and i also want someone from india! hehe. never, EVER seen an indian with a black girl. that's on my list of guys to do. other than that i've had black (over with), white, and hispanic.

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    • blackbelle01 says:
      Posted: 27 Jul 16

      Bee1 why would you date someone just for the heck of it and hooking up with someone to prove a point shows that you have self esteem issues.

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    • Buion. says:
      Posted: 11 Nov 21

      You looked mixed and you're a narcissistic person so it's no wonder why you're single with no children because no man wants to deal with that attitude.

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  48.   nicknack83 says:
    Posted: 11 Oct 10

    I think Asian men are the most handsome men on Earth.

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  49.   opps1000 says:
    Posted: 10 Oct 10

    For the most part, Black women are not being sidelined because there will always be a man looking for easy sex from an idiot desperate to be taken out. Asian-American men are not being sidelined, but foreign-born Asian men working in restaurants or other low paying jobs are likely to be ignored for the same reasons as any other man who is a low-paid laborer. It's not about the race, it's about the relevance of the person to another person. For women, a sexy man is a well-paid man, regardless of size. For women, even ugly women are used by men in the absence of someone better. Face it, if there are men (and women) into beastiality, then anyone can be used for sex.

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    • Buion. says:
      Posted: 11 Nov 21

      Asian men are ignored and are the most single demographic in the 25-32 age range but Black women aren't being ignored so that's the only part I agree with you on but they're not being "used" for sex and don't go for that so teya again troll.

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    • KevinUS says:
      Posted: 12 Nov 21

      This is such a naive, ignorant comment. There has been studies done with nationally representative sample using data from marriage and dating statistics, its very clear - the vast majority of Asians including the ones who were born and brought up in American culture are socially excluded from most women's dating pool. This was irrespective of their high paying income careers.

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  50.   Chriss89 says:
    Posted: 17 Sep 10

    People spend more time looking at the surface of what that relationship IS (Asian person and black person) and not what it could be (loving, caring, ordinary). Let's just take society out of the picture and imagine these two people together as people and not race for just ONE moment. I think that this pairing doesn't happen often because both people are more concerned with the outward appearance of their relationship, and feeling like they have to come equipped with some special kind of "armor" that will ensure the relationship will work. It will work if you do everything any other person would if they cared about their significant other: respect, cherish, and treat them right. It will work even better if you throw out the race factor.

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