Your Belief in a Soulmate May Prevent You from Finding True Love

Posted by Liam, 26 Sep

Many people believe that when they meet their soulmate they’ll know it.  They will see a stranger across a crowded room, lock eyes, and Cupid will draw back his bow straight to the lover’s heart, and they will finally find true love and happiness. What a beautiful image.  It’s the stuff of movies, songs, poems, novels…

But while believing in the idyllic notion of a soulmate can be quite romantic and exciting, it is actually quite detrimental and it's hurting your chances of finding true love. Keep reading to see the reasoning behind this...

The Idea of a Soulmate is a Detrimental Notion That Blocks You from Meeting Quality People

Your perfect partner could be online right now...

What are you looking for?

If you’re thinking that you haven’t found true love because you’re still looking for your soulmate, you will be looking for a long long time. You’ve probably filled your head with romantic notions fed to you by family, friends, and society. That there is only one person who’s right for you and is predestined by the stars.  So in your quest to find true love you cast aside potential mates, those who are compatible with you and who could probably make you very happy if only you gave them a chance.

If you think about the statistical odds of finding a soulmate in a world of 7 billion plus people, the math is against you.  You have a better chance of winning the lottery. How would you find this person? You’d have to assume that he or she lives in your general vicinity or that somehow you’d be connected by fate through mutual friends, or work, or social gatherings.

And what if your soulmate were on the other side of the world?  Or worse, what if your soulmate were a child, or an old man or woman?  And your earthly timelines were crossed? You see how nonsensical the whole concept is?

This is why so many people complain that they cannot find anyone to date and that they haven’t found the one true love, the twin flame who’s out there and the universe is working its magic to get them to connect.  What they’re really saying is that nobody is living up to their unrealistic expectations of the perfect soulmate.

The idea of a soulmate is actually a detrimental notion. It holds people back from meeting quality people and opening up their hearts to give potential mates an opportunity. Belief in a soulmate skews people’s concept of how a healthy relationship must work and sets them up for inevitable heartache.

Belief in a Soulmate = Unrealistic Expectations

The problem with approaching love and dating with unrealistic expectations is that you’re setting yourself up for failure before you even begin.  You have this idealistic view of a perfect person who doesn’t exist. You expect your soulmate to be 100% compatible with you. This person who is heaven-sent will never hurt or disappoint you, will never neglect you.  They will fulfill your every need and you will do the same for them.

Sounds really beautiful in theory, but the reality is very different.

Expecting someone to fulfill your every romantic whim is placing a heaving burden on the person.  No person can complete that task. People are imperfect and relationships are complicated and messy.  Even when love abounds. People who truly love each other hurt each other, disappoint each other. Loving someone is realizing that despite their imperfections, you are still willing to make the relationship work.

And that’s the trouble with people who are stuck on the idea that their relationship doesn’t work because they haven’t found their soulmate.  As a matter of fact, researchers found that women who believed in the notion of a soulmate tended to be less happy in their relationship with their current partner.  Why? Because these women had unrealistic expectations of what a real relationship between two flawed human beings would be like.

These women believed that the problems in their relationship stemmed from the fact that the person they were with was not the right one.  They felt that their soulmate would completely “get” them and there would be no issues between them. So instead of making things work and fighting to keep the relationship going, these women threw in the towel and ended the romance and started on a new quest to find their soulmate.

You see how detrimental this soulmate belief is?

Does looking for a soulmate mean giving up control of one's love life?

If you really examine yourself, you’re saying that you have given up control to some mystical workings of the universe to come together and bring you the man of your dreams.  You are not in charge of your own destiny. You believe in fate and things are out of your hands.

That’s why you give up when things don’t go your way in a relationship.  Instead of accepting the fact that relationships take work and that people who love each other need to work at it, you may think that if your relationship is not working, it is because this person is not your soul mate.

So if you’re one of the many people who believe in the idea of a soul mate, I want you to think carefully and reexamine your beliefs. I challenge you to give up your belief in soul mates. Open yourself up to the possibility that there is more than one Mr. Right.  Open yourself up to the idea that relationships take work and that you’re with the person who’s right for you at the right time. With work and love, that person can fulfill the standards of a soul mate.

Guest Post By:

Erin Love Thomas - founder and managing editor of Finding True Love.  As a relationship blogger, Erin helps readers find, nurture, and sustain a healthy relationship.  Erin's desire is that everyone finds the love and happiness they seek.

1 responses to "Your Belief in a Soulmate May Prevent You from Finding True Love"

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  1.   Prismatic says:
    Posted: 04 Oct

    I see no issue in believing in a soulmate. I've always believed we have one true soulmate and then we have people who we are compatible with. You probably wouldn't even know the person you are compatible with isn't your soulmate until you hit a rift. Personally I've never heard anyone who refers to their soulmate as someone they would not get into fights with. If there was I would agree that is extremely unrealistic. I also don't think most people wo give up on a relationship when things aren't working out are thinking about a "soulmate". They probably aren't expecting the universe to drop the perfect person into their lap. The people I know are constantly looking for someone and putting in the effort but if the other person isn't then it's time to move on. I believe I have a soulmate but that doesn't mean I won't give it my all in the relationships I do enter. I don't even know if I'll ever meet him. He could be in a relationship with someone else thinking that person is their soulmate.

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