Carla & Elbert -
Texas, United States
The Woman He Married Was a Year Older Than He Wanted to Date
Carla and Elbert would never have met if she had seen his restrictive preferences for a match. An arbitrary age limit can nip romance in the bud, as illustrated by a love story that was almost a cautionary tale…
Elbert had been knocked around a bit in love and war. “I was tired of the drama I was running into, dating people I met [in real life], so I turned to the Internet,” he says. Elbert was looking for “someone different, someone not into the games.” He saw our site as a way of “covering all options” and felt that if he was thorough enough in his efforts to find a woman of true authenticity, his efforts would be successful. Eventually! “This was my first time on a dating site, but I was pretty confident,” he says.
Carla had high standards, too, but in a different way. “I was looking for someone real to build my life with,” she says. “The Internet was the answer to meeting new people. I didn’t have time to do the normal dating thing. I knew people who had met [someone special] online, and I wanted to give it a try.”
It didn’t take long for these interracial singles to find each other. Carla was a member of our site for a month and Elbert for three when their paths crossed. She was using a variation on her middle name, Alicia, for her profile handle. Meanwhile, Elbert’s screen name was “Innkster.” She spotted his profile and found it intriguing. “I thought he was genuine, had a great sense of humor, and a very nice personality,” explains Carla. “I loved the fact that he was for real about everything he said… and sooo handsome. He’s big and husky; very much my type!”
Unfortunately, Elbert had set his age limit lower than it should have been. Here’s how it all went down. “Carla sent me an email first, showing interest,” begins Elbert. “She hadn’t noticed I had a limit as to what age I was interested in. She sent me the email anyway! In her message, she asked me how I was doing, and if I was going to a Super Bowl party. I checked out her profile and thought she was very pretty. So I responded to her email, and we began communicating from there.”
“He was very kind,” Carla says of that initial correspondence. “I knew from the beginning that we clicked.” She impressed Elbert as well. “I though she was well mannered,” he recalls. “She was very attentive to what I said. And she was real in all that she did. No front. She was not beating around the bush for what she wanted. Definitely the woman I was looking for.”
With that hurdle out of the way, it only seemed logical to take the conversation offline. “We had so much in common,” says Elbert, explaining the decision to date. “I knew after all the time talking that it was time to meet. I wanted to see if the woman I had just met was really this genuine. She had my total attention. I wanted more!”
Carla felt the same way. “After all the conversations on the phone, and all the hours on Skype, I knew it was time to meet this man.”
When they introduced themselves in person, the first thought that popped into Carla’s head was this: “Oh my God, you are so tall! You are so cute! A breath of fresh air.” Elbert remembers that his initial reaction was “Wow! She’s freaking cute. Thick and sexy!” He was surprised by “how sweet and generous she was with herself and her feelings.”
Once their first date was in the books, neither single doubted that there would be a second meeting. “I could tell this was going to be special,” Elbert declares. “I knew that I was not through getting to know this magnificent woman.” Carla was also certain they’d see each other again, saying, “I knew we were going to go out a lot more!” She was also struck by “how warm he was. I was not ready for the attentiveness and respect he showed.”
Over the next few months, their relationship deepened and the couple discovered new things about each other. Carla admired “the serious nature of his desire to find a woman for life.” She was delighted by “how much he was looking for a LTR” (long-term relationship), and his desire to start a family. Also impressive was Elbert’s “consideration of others, especially my daughter.”
Every month ended with Carla and Elbert more committed to this relationship than they were at the start. Finally, Elbert decided the time was right to sanctify their bond in marriage. “She had just flown in from New Jersey and was a bit tired. I had hidden the ring in a false book sitting on the TV stand in the living area. As she went upstairs to get comfortable, I brought her the book to read. She was in no mood to read a book, but I was insistent. As she opened the book, she saw the diamond ring. I got down on my knees and asked her if she would be my wife!”
Carla was overjoyed to say “yes.” She says that this relationship has improved her life “tremendously.” She wishes that everyone could feel what she is feeling. “I am a happier person, and hopeful that others will find their true love. It’s the best feeling in the world.”
Elbert can’t believe the impact that love has had on him. “It’s made me feel complete,” he says. “I feel as if I have a friend, lover, partner, everything wrapped up into one person. Being in love gives me the drive to achieve the most out of life, for her and me both.”
Carla set her sights high and Elbert has lived up to them, so she believes singles shouldn’t confuse pessimism with pragmatism. “Know what you want before you go online, but stay positive that your dream man will come around,” she tells everyone. “Be real about who you are, and love will definitely find you.”
Looking back on his profile’s age restriction, which almost prevented him from meeting his beloved wife, Elbert shakes his head. What if he’d missed out on meeting Carla? “Don’t be too narrow on your stipulations,” advises Elbert. “You never know from which direction the love of your life will come from. I met a beautiful woman, whom I really care for, who is only one year above the age limit I was searching for! If she had noticed the age limit and not contacted me, I would have missed out on a gem.”
Fortunately, Elbert has that gem in his life, and a love worth treasuring.
Click here to read more inspiring interracial couples stories.